Marriage and Family: Wives

We believe that the wife, in a marriage ordained by God, is called to respect and submit to her husband as to the Lord. This submission should be voluntary and arises out of love, not obligation or fear. It mirrors the church's submission to Christ, reflecting the harmony and orderliness of God's creation.

Ephesians 5:22-24 — 1 Peter 3:1-6 ¹⁾

The role of the wife in a Christian marriage is vividly explicated in the biblical narrative. According to Ephesians 5:22-24²⁾, wives are instructed to submit to their husbands as to the Lord. “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife as also Christ is the head of the church – he himself being the savior of the body.” This instruction is not a mandate for subjugation or inequality, but rather a call for voluntary submission that arises from love and respect.

The apostle Paul compares the relationship of the husband and wife to that of Christ and the church. Just as the church willingly submits to Christ's leadership out of love and respect for Him, wives are called to exhibit a similar attitude toward their husbands. This is not a sign of weakness or inferiority, but rather an acknowledgement of the God-ordained structure of the family unit.

Additionally, Peter gives valuable advice to wives in 1 Peter 3:1-6. Here, the emphasis is on inner beauty and the quiet and gentle spirit, which are precious in the sight of God. “Let your beauty not be external – the braiding of hair and wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes – but the inner person of the heart, the lasting beauty of a gentle and tranquil spirit, which is precious in God's sight.”

In other words, the true measure of a woman’s worth is not found in her physical appearance, but in her character and the qualities of her heart. As wives cultivate these godly attributes, they become an example of godly womanhood and a reflection of Christ's love.

Therefore, we believe that a wife's role in marriage, as delineated in the Scriptures, includes respect for her husband and a willingness to yield to his leadership. However, it is important to stress that this role does not imply inferiority or lack of personal agency. Instead, it reflects a God-ordained order that, when respected, can lead to a harmonious and loving relationship that reflects Christ’s love for the church.

However, these are not the only characteristics of a wife. The Bible has a lot more to say on the subject. For example, the book of Proverbs speaks about the qualities of a good wife. Here are a few select passages that highlight some of these characteristics:

Proverbs 12:4: “A noble wife is the crown of her husband, but the wife who acts shamefully is like rottenness in his bones.”

This verse emphasizes the valuable role a wife plays in her husband's life. When she embodies noble character, she adds honor, respect, and dignity to her husband's life, being described as his “crown.” On the other hand, a wife who behaves disgracefully can bring harm and dishonor.

Proverbs 18:22: “The one who finds a wife finds what is enjoyable and receives a pleasurable gift from the Lord.”

This scripture acknowledges a wife as a blessing from God. A good wife brings joy, pleasure, and happiness into her husband's life.

Proverbs 19:14: “A house and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.”

In this verse, the Bible emphasizes the value of a prudent or wise wife, setting her as a divine gift that exceeds material possessions or wealth. It underscores the importance of wisdom and discernment in a wife.

Proverbs 31:10-31 is a well-known passage that provides a detailed description of the ideal wife, often referred to as “the Proverbs 31 woman.” Here are a few highlights:

Proverbs 31:10: “Who can find a wife of noble character? For her value is far more than rubies.”

Proverbs 31:25-26: “She is clothed with strength and honor, and she can laugh at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and loving instruction is on her tongue.”

Proverbs 31:30: “Charm is deceitful and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised.”

These verses from Proverbs 31 highlight the qualities of a virtuous wife — her noble character, wisdom, strength, honor, and most importantly, her fear of the Lord. Her worth is deemed far above material wealth, emphasizing the invaluable role she plays in her family and society.

Taken together, these Proverbs present a picture of the good wife as a woman of noble character, wisdom, strength, and piety. Her value is far beyond material possessions, and she is seen as a blessing from the Lord.

In conclusion, the role of the wife in a Christian marriage, as outlined in Ephesians 5:22-24 and 1 Peter 3:1-6, is a high calling, requiring respect, a gentle spirit, and voluntary submission. Her value, as illustrated in Proverbs, is meant to be immeasurable. By embracing these virtues, wives contribute to a harmonious and loving marriage that mirrors the church’s relationship with Christ and thus brings glory to God.

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